Awww. :(
That's rough on kids.
They probably suffer the most through things like this. They're pretty resilient, though, it just takes time. Just always be totally honest with him. Kids understand more than you think.


My kids sure went through a hell of a lot with my divorce. My older one put up with the drinking and fighting, and my ex even told him to "fuck off" once. So in essence, the divorce was good for him. He was 8 at the time.

But the little one was not even 2 years old at the time, so he didn't know what was going on. All he knew was that mommy and daddy had to ship him back and forth 2,600 miles every few months. And now he doesn't see daddy at all. He doesn't understand why, but at the same time, it's been over 2 years since he's seen him, and he has it so much better with me, so I think in the long run, it'll be better for him. He can get to know his dad when he understands what alcoholism is and what it does to families.

A friend of mine told me she never dates guys who have kids. Well, at my age, I don't think that is possible. I'm going to have to start cruising the middle schools.

It IS hard.

I think that's taking it a bit too far, though. It's not fair to people who have kids. We need love too, you know?

To be honest with you, I can't stand men who won't date women with kids. I think it's selfish and closed minded. Parents need love too, especially single parents. We're not just parents, but individuals, too. We're human and need love just like anyone else. Do people even realize how lonely it gets being a single parent? I'm doing SO much better now than I was even a year ago, but there have been times, especially shortly after my ex and I split up, that I was so lonely at night, I would just sit and cry. Especially when Dylan was in Florida with him.

The only reason I would ever have a problem dating a guy with kids, is if he ever wanted to get serious. I already have 2 of my own, and don't want any more because I am not willing to care for more than 2, especially if they were younger than my own. I'm too set in my ways.

I guess in a way that's being hypocritical, but not really, seeing as how I want nothing to do with marriage ever again, anyway. So at least I'm honest about it from the beginning. I'll date a guy with kids, but I won't do anything more than date. Even if a guy doesn't have kids, I want nothing to do with marriage. At this point, I don't even ever want to live with anyone. I have my life and my future all planned out, and so far, it's coming together nicely. Why would I want to go and ruin that?

No wonder I can't get a date. No one will ever get anywhere with me. LOL. We'd be perpetually dating.

Funny, I think that's why Syl Lea left me..

Why? Because she doesn't want to live together and/or get married, or because you don't?

Because I didn't even think about it.

Yeah, not being on the same page when it comes to something that significant can put a strain on the relationship.

it might seem selfish and closed minded, but wouldn't you rather know where a guy stands on that issue right from the beginning? i mean, if a guy knows he's not good with kids or doesn't want to be involved with them or knows he's too immature, isn't it better that he doesn't date women with kids?

it's preference, like anything else. lesbians shouldn't think you're selfish and closed minded because you won't date women. that's not your preference.

being fat, i used to feel the same way. fat girls need love, too. but we need love from men or women who like us the way we are. not ones who like our personality and tolerate us being fat. the same way single parents don't need love from people who like you but tolerate your children.

just my opinion :)

You're probably right, but I've also been turned down for dates because of the now INABILITY I have to bear children.

So, either way, I lose.

There is no room in the dating world for a woman with 2 kids who has had a hysterectomy. There just isn't. I'd have to find someone that wouldn't mind me having some, and doesn't want any of his own.

Where do ya find someone like that?

But in the end you have to leave two people you care about, one is difficult enough.

Ideally, it's not supposed to end. But you don't know until you try, and that's just the risk people have to take. We can't avoid getting hurt or hurting others all our lives. It's only life, and it's short; enjoy it while you can.